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Saturday, February 11, 2017

๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š Most Popular Jokes ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š


๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š Most Popular Jokes ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š




1-Bhai behen bichadne ka kya hua anjaam ??

Dnt say wah wah Plz feel the pain ... (o_O )
bhai behen bichadne ka kya hua anjam ??
MUNNA bana MBBS aur MUNNI hui badnaam..
She cries.. "Hai meri kismat"..
A gora walks past and says..
"Hi merry christmas to u Too".X_X


Decide kia ke sab se chhota sardar ja kar Pepsi le aaye,
Sardar: Main is shart par jata hu ke tum mere ane tak smose nahi khaoge.
Dono ne kaha thik hai.
1 din guzar gaya sardar nahi aaya.
2 din guzar gaye.
Dono ne socha ke ab samose kha lene chahiye.
Jaise hi smosa uthaya chota sardar ped ke peechhe se nikal k bola. "AISE KAROGE TO MAIN NAHI JAAUNGA"
They Give Me Questions Which I Don’t Know.
So………………
I Give Them Answers Which They Don’t Know.
Why???
“Tit For Tat“
..
..
..
Student: Google is a Girl.....because it won't let you complete
the whole sentence and start guessing, suggesting.....and
you ask only one question.....
but get hundreds of irrelevant answers in seconds...
The boy going just behind the girl said,"Rafta Rafta dekho aankh jisse ladhi hain."
Girl Replied,"Aankh Jisse ladhi, tere baap se bhi badhi hain
Banta: Oh! That’s terrible.
Santa: Yes, it was sad to watch the dog die in convulsions.
I Love U to a girl
Bt
Girl replied
Sorry i lv someone else
The boy in sad mood looked
at d girl & said
"Batau tere baap ko?" ;-) :D
Asked in an Exam for 10 Marks!!
Student:
Mix Chilli Powder with Sugar,
& keep It Outside the Ant's Hole..!
After eating, Ant will Search for
some Water near a Water tank.Push ant in to it.. =!!

Now Ant will go to Dry itself Near Fire,

When it Reaches fire, Put a Bomb into D fire..!!

Then Admit Wounded Ant in ICU..!! =O

And Then Remove Oxygen Mask from it's Mouth and Kill the Ant.. !!

=|

MORAL:
Don't Play with Students.. !!
They can Do any thing for 15 Marks..
=D =P
Now Ant will go to Dry itself Near Fire,
When it Reaches fire, Put a Bomb into D fire..!!
Then Admit Wounded Ant in ICU..!! =O
And Then Remove Oxygen Mask from it's Mouth and Kill the Ant.. !!
=|
MORAL:
Don't Play with Students.. !!
They can Do any thing for 15 Marks..
=D =P


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11. Saari Raat guzar jaati hai bas isi Kashmakash me ki
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Ye saali rajaai me hawa kidhar se ghus rahi hai... :
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New Generation:
"Kuch bhi kar, Facebook pe daal"
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mom: awwww..
i love u too Son!
...
16 year old boy:
i love u mom!
mom: sorry,
i have no money :D
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Scientific studies have proved that
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"SHOPPING"
never causes HEART ATTACKS, but,
.
.
"PAYING the "BILLS" does :):D
boyfriend sitting beside
her…
Boyfriend fell down of his
chair , laughing
Bcoz
Laptop replied:“TOO SMALL

Gl- can i tk some water?
Boy- my plsr...:)
...
Gl- Bhaiya agla station konsa hai?
.
Boy- mere baap ne mere dimag me koi GPS fit nhi kiya hai ,jaldi seat khali ker mujhe neend a rahi hai ......... :P :P :P :D :/
The waiter asks them what the discussion was about?
Terrorist :- We are planning to kill 14 thousand people and a donkey..
Waiter :- Why a donkey?
Then one terrorist says to the other,
"See I told you nobody will care about the 14 thousand people".
Gabbar: Mujhe ginti nahin aati, 2 kitne hote hain?
Samba: Sardar 2, 1 ke baad aata hai
Gabbar: Aur 2 se pehle?
Samba: 2 se pehle 1 aata hai.
Gabbar: To beech mein kaun ata hai?
Samba: Beech mein koi nahi aata
Gabbar:: To phir dono ek saath kyun nahin aate?
Samba: 1 k baad hi 2 aa sakta hai, kyun ki 2, 1 se bada hai.
Gabar: 2, 1 se kitna bada hai?
Samba: 2, 1 se 1 bada hai.
Gabbar: Agar 2, 1 se 1 bada hai to 1, 1 se kitna bada hai?
Samnba: Sardar maine aapka namak khaya hai, mujhe goli maar do :-D :-P :-)
Biwi :- Kya! ,Pyaas Lagi Hai ??
..
... ..
..
..
..
..
..
..
Husband (Gussey se):
"Nahi"Gala Check Karna Hai
Kahin se"LEAK"to Nahi Hai =P xD
A newly born baby's status
"Thanks God!
...
Got delivered successfully."
At- Apollo hospital, Bangalore.
With
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he invented zero:-P
Tum facebook use karti ho ??
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... .
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Ladki: Nahi, Main Facewash use krti
hoon :D :P
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... .
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jab gol gappe wala bola
"Please give your feedback on Our Facebook
Page" :-P
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Baccha-'mam iska matlab Parle G online baithe hain..
Bee-no,coz they can never steal my art of making honey.
Moral:
... Insaan kya.....
kutta, billi, makkhi, jisko dekho wo aajkal philosphy jhaad raha hai....:D :P :p

Bee-no,coz they can never steal my art of making honey.
Moral:
... Insaan kya.....
kutta, billi, makkhi, jisko dekho wo aajkal philosphy jhaad raha hai....:D :P :p

next he goes to mandir n stole's ganesh ji's statue
N wrote a letter to shivji agar bacha chahye toh mandir k peeche cycle le k ajao....
... .
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Banta: Goli maar de :D
Someone Else, Forget Me
Forever !!
Funny Boyfriend:
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Naa Tere Aane Ki Khushi,
Na
Tere Jaane Ka Gam,
Jaao Bahen Jao Jee Lo Apni Zindagi,
Doosri Pata Leinge Hum
ti hai :D . .
Miss: shut up & get out.
Babloo: miss mein bataon..?
Miss: very good, batao..
Babloo: miss college ke 1st day Underwear zaroor pehna chahiye :D . .
.
Miss: u also get out.
Shamu: miss mein bataon..?
Miss: i think u are a brilliant student.. tum sahi batao gay.. .
Shamu :miss doctor ke elawa Engineer bhi delivery kar sakta hai. :- D:-
D Miss: u also get out. . GUDU: Miss mein bataon. Miss: HAAN BATAO... . GUDU: FRENCH KISS MEIN NAAK BEECH MEIN NAHI AATI. ;-) Students Rock!
Student: Sir, Light
Nahi Thi
Teacher: To MomBatti Jala
Lete ... Student: Sir, Maachis
Nahi Thi
Teacher: Machis Kyun Nahi
Thi
Student: Pooja Ghar Me
Rakhi Thi. Teacher: To Wahan Se Le
Aate
Student: Nahaya Hua Nahi
Tha
Teacher: Nahaye Kyun Nahi
Thi. Student: Pani Nahi Tha
Sir.
Teacher: Pani Kyu Nahi Tha?
Student: Sir Motor Nahi Chal
Rahi Thi.
Teacher: Ullu Ke Pathe Motor Kyun Nahi Chal Rahi
Thi ?
Student: Sir Bataya
To Ttha Light Nahi Thi :
.
.
U dnt kw......?
... ... .
.
.Mai batata hu......

Wo kahega "THERE WAS A COLD DAY."

Say ten times khud samajh aa jayega
Wo kahega "THERE WAS A COLD DAY."
Say ten times khud samajh aa jayega
Saheb: Kal aana.
Bhikhari: Saala is kal-kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhon rupaye fase huye hain.
Fevistick Laakar Pakda Di
Santa-Banta cheating krne hi wale the k Teachr agya or pucha:
Tum se peche wale larke ne abi kya pucha? 
Santa:Sir is ne pucha Japan ka capital kya h..
Teachr:
to tum ne bta dya?
Banta:Nai Sir.. Mene isko danta tha k abi to tu ne muje Toka hai mgr ab na "TOKYO":D
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breaking the mst no. Of doors
2) C.I.D bureau has 1 tata sumo
since 13 yrs
3) In the entire 20 storey cid
building only 6 people work
4) There is no police in
mumbai,C.I.D handles every case
5) Accused person acepts his
crime only aftr gting a slap on
face from Daya
6) None of the C.I.D officers got
Married
7) People remember the person
they saw once n give exact sketch
8) None of the officers ever got
promotion nt even A.C.P
9) Salunke just pres ctrl n alt n
gets finger prints testd
10) End of episode all criminals
get faasi :D:D
said:-
I’ve found a purse with
Rs.15000/- a credit card &
... ... an ID card of Mr.Ram new
road, Kathmandu.
Radio Jockey: How honest
so you want to return his
purse?
Santa: no.. I just wanted to
dedicate a sad song for
him...! :D
Rajnikant:
4
...
Santa:
Depend karta hai agar horizontally aadha karo to '0'
Aur vertically kaato toh '3'.
Santa rocked.
Rajnikant shocked\=D/
Teacher: "Do you know Avogadro's Number"?
Student: "Avogadro Ladka Tha Ya Ladki"?
Teacher: "Ladka"
Student: "Sorry Dude, Mai Ladko Ke Number Nahi Rakhta" ;) :p



40. (kavi ka Beta School Mein =P)
Teacher : What Is N0un??
Student : Arz Karta Hoon...
...
kutta Bhi Hota Hai Apni Gali Mein King...
Wah Wah...
Kutta Bhi Hota Hai Apni Gali Mein King...
Noun Is A Name Of Any Person Place Or Thing!! =p
Santa:1-2 min Dekhenge
.

Tell the name of Any Microsoft Product?
Sam:
MS Excel
John:
MS Word
Matt:
MS PowerPoint
Santa:
After Thinking a lot:
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“MS Dhoni”
"Hello KFC?"
- " Yes, How can I help you sir?"
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" I want MACDONALD'S number!!! :-P:-D

Kid-Mummy Papa Me Ladai Ho Gai
Techr-To Late Kyu HuaKid-Mera 1 Juta Mom Ke Hath Me Aur 2sra Papa K Hath Me tha...
Mai Meter Chalu Karna Bhul Gaya
Tha. . !
Ab Kitna Bhada Lu. ?
Santa- Oye Praji Koi Gal Nhi
Maii B Apna Batva Bhul Gaya
Hu. . :D :P


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Santa:: jise bhulane ke liye pee raha tha uska naam nahi yaad aa raha hai..lol..
Sir:Kya hua?
Qustn papr
mushkil he?
Boy:
Nahi sir,
main to soch raha hu is qustn ka
ans
kis jeb me hai?

Teacher-GADHE ye kya kia.!!!
..
..
Santa.-Sir, apne hi kaha tha pahle jo aa rha he wahi krdo...

.
.wakeel (Lawyer) gussa ho ke bola-"YE MERE CHAPRASI K LIYE HE KI MERE NAUKAR K LIYE....?????"
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.....Santa bola-"YE TUM TEENO KE LIYE HAI...
Sardar : jaise hi anouncement hua ki shatabdi express platform no. 2 par aa rahi hai sab platform se utarkar apni jaan bachane patri par aa gaye, lekin train patri par aa gayi aur sab mar gaye,
Reportar : yani aap samajdar sardar nikle jo patri par nahi utare.
Sardar : ji nahi me to suicide karne aya tha anouncement sunkar patri se hatkar platform par let gaya tha.
Ek Chor Chori Kar Ke Ghar Se Jaa Raha Tha.....Ki Bache Ki Aankh Khul Gai........
Bacha : Mera School Bag Bhi Le Ja Varna Shor Macha Dunga......:-P :-D
Santa:No I m Santa Singh,
Another Amrican: R u relaxing?
Santa: No I m Santa Singh
Another American: R u relaxing?


2.An old Indian women slips on ice
an falls..
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3. Sardar picnic par gaye whan ja kar yaad aaya ke pepsi to ghar bhul gaye.
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4. Pappu’s Atittude In Exams.
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5. Santa: Yaar answer sheet par sabse pehle kya likhu?
Banta: Yehi ki is answer sheet par likhe gaye sabhi answers kalpnik hain jinka kisi bhi book se koi smbandh nahi hai.
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6. Teacher : Google is a girl or a boy..?
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7. A muslim girl wearing a burka was going on the road.
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8. Santa: My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog!
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9. A boy said
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------10. Question: "How to Kill an Ant??"

 

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12. Old Generation:
"Neki kar, Dariya mein daal"

13. year old boy:
i love you mom!
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14. Why girls live longer than boys????
.
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15. Girlfriend setting password
for her laptop with
She types “BRAIN” as
password.
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16. Santa n Banta were watching a cricket match. 
When Dhoni hits a boundary. 
Banta: Kya Goal mara. 
Santa: Raha Na bewakoof ka bewakoof, Goal is mein nahin cricket mein hota hai
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17. Gl- can i sit here?
Boy- it all urs...:)
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18. Two terrorists having discussion in a bar.

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19. Gabbar: Kitne admi they?
Sambha: Sardar 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------20. Husband Biwi Se:
Pani Pila Do ...
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21. Height of Facebook update :

Suresh, Ramesh, Sonu, Moni and my girl friend Sonam. O.o
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22. When aryabhatta checked my papers, 
.
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23. Maine 1 Ladki se puchha:
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24. Ye baat sun kar Mere haathon se Gol Gappa hi
gir gya
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25. Teacher: Beta batao Parle G kepacket pe jo Green dot banahai uska matlab kya hai?
.
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26. Bird asked a bee, u work so hard 2 get honey n people steal. dont u feel sad?

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27. Bird asked a bee, u work so hard 2 get honey n people steal. dont u feel sad?

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28. A child prayed to god for a cycle
he didnt get.......:(
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29. Santa to banta: Yaar koi aisa valentine gift bataa jo seedha teri bhabi ke dil per lage,
.
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30. Girlfriend: I Am Going To Marry

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31. Teacher: ‘3 idiots’ film dehknay ke baad aap ko kya lesson mila? Pap
pu: miss yehi ki..Enginering padh kar bhi medical ki ladki fasai ja sak
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31. Teacher: Homework Kyun
Nahi Kiya?
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32. Angrez darwaza kholne ko hindi me kaise kahega... 
.
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33.  Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do. 

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34. Pintu Pappu Ki Wedding Main: Are pappu Ye Bhabhi Gumsum Kyun Hai, Koi Muskaan Nahi Hai, Koi Tenshion Hai Kya??
Funny Pappu: Haan Yaar Isne Iske Baap Se Lipistick Laane Ke Liye Kaha Tha, saale Ganje Ne
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35. Santa-Banta Style of Cheating ;)
..
Geo CheaterZ!:-P 

36. Amazing facts bout CID :
1) Daya has d world record 4
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37. Santa Rocks :) like kar le na ;)
Santa called FM radio &
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38. Teacher:What is half of 8??

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39. *Extraordinarily Khatarnak Student*

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41. Santa Rockss ;-) ;-D
Madam:Agr Koi School Ke Samne Bomb Rakh Deta Hai To Kya Karoge?
Agr Koi Le Jata Hai To Theek Hai,Wrna Staff Room Main Rakh Denge!:
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42. Santa Rocks ;-)
Teacher:
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43. The Best Prank Call Ever:

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44. Techr-Itni Late Kyu Aye.
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42. Texi Wala-Sir Sorry
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43. Santa sarab pite pite ro pada..
Banta:: kyun ro rahe ho
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44. Ladka Exam Hall me
pareshan tha
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45. Santa ne exam sheet par SUSU karke teacher ke hath me thama di.
..
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46. Santa jab court se case jeet k aaya to usne wakeel ko bas 1o rupee diye.....
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47. Ek train accident me 100 sardar mar gaye 1 bach gaya !
Reportar ne usse pucha : ye sab kaise hua?
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